Grace, Calling and Divine Order

By Apostle Aleck Lionde 

 CHAPTER 1

Grace, Calling, and Divine Order

Understanding Anointing Without Confusion

One of the greatest dangers in honoring people is overstating truth until it becomes error. Scripture commands honor, but it also demands accuracy. When honor is disconnected from doctrine, it produces confusion, imbalance, and sometimes spiritual pressure on those we are trying to celebrate.

This is especially true when speaking about the pastor’s wife.

In many churches today, well-meaning statements have emerged that elevate the pastor’s wife beyond what Scripture teaches—assigning her spiritual rank, authority, or “stronger anointing” simply because of her proximity to pastoral leadership. While the intention may be appreciation, the result can be theological distortion.

The Bible gives us a better way: honor without exaggeration, grace without confusion, and order without diminishment.

 Anointing Comes From Calling, Not Proximity

The Word of God is clear: spiritual anointing flows from divine calling, not relational closeness.

“There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.

There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord.”

— 1 Corinthians 12:4–5

God does not anoint people because of who they are married to.

He anoints people because of what He has called them to do.

A pastor is anointed to:

Shepherd the flock

Teach and guard doctrine

Provide spiritual oversight

A pastor’s wife is not automatically anointed for these offices unless God personally calls her. Marriage brings unity, not shared office.

This distinction is not dishonor—it is biblical order.

 Grace Is Not Rank

One of the most misunderstood concepts in the Church is grace. Grace is often treated as a measure of spiritual rank—who has more, who is stronger, who is higher. Scripture never presents grace this way.

“But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”

— Ephesians 4:7

Grace is assignment-specific.

God gives grace to:

Fulfill responsibility

Endure pressure

Complete obedience

A pastor needs grace to carry people.

A pastor’s wife needs grace to carry the pastor.

These graces are different, not competitive.

 The Error of Comparing Anointings

The moment we say, “This anointing is stronger than that one,” we step outside biblical language and into human comparison.

“Who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive?”

— 1 Corinthians 4:7

Scripture never teaches:

A stronger anointing by marriage

A greater anointing by visibility

A superior anointing by sacrifice

Instead, it teaches faithfulness within assignment.

[1/26, 8:38 AM] Ap Lionde: Order Protects, Not Diminishes

Divine order is God’s protection system.

“Let all things be done decently and in order.”

— 1 Corinthians 14:40

When roles are confused:

Expectations become burdens

Grace turns into pressure

Honor turns into obligation

Many pastors’ wives suffer silently—not because they lack grace, but because they are carrying roles God never assigned to them.

Biblical order frees people to serve from calling, not from demand.

 Heirs Together, Not Offices Together

Marriage creates partnership, not shared titles.

“Giving honor to the wife… as heirs together of the grace of life.”

— 1 Peter 3:7

“Heirs together” speaks of:

Equal worth

Shared inheritance

Mutual honor

It does not speak of shared ecclesiastical office.

A pastor’s wife is not an extension of the pulpit.

She is a co-heir of grace, not a co-holder of office—unless God explicitly calls her.

[1/26, 8:39 AM] Ap Lionde: Honor Without Pressure

True honor does not demand performance.

The pastor’s wife:

Does not need to preach to be valuable

Does not need visibility to be effective

Does not need titles to be significant

Her grace works best when she is allowed to function authentically, not symbolically.

“Each one should remain in the calling in which he was called.”

— 1 Corinthians 7:20

A Better Foundation

The correct foundation is this:

The pastor carries an anointing for leadership

The pastor’s wife carries a distinct grace for support, wisdom, intercession, and stability

Both serve the same God

Both are accountable to the same Lord

Both are rewarded by the same Heaven

This understanding protects:

Doctrine

Families

Churches

Long-term ministry health

 Closing Reflection

The pastor’s wife does not need exaggerated language to be honored.

Truth honors her more than flattery ever could.

When grace is understood correctly:

Pressure lifts

Joy returns

Faithfulness flourishes

God is not confused about her role.

He is pleased when it is walked out according to His order.